Have you ever experienced your life going along really well — when all of a sudden it seems to come apart at the seams?
When our unconscious self, our inner child, senses unfamiliar situations and we’re relaxing our defenses, this inner child rings the alarm bell. Your child has only one thought in mind and that is to keep you safe and out of harm’s way. The only way our child knows how to do this is by responding with the same brilliant defenses that helped you stay sane and survive childhood. However, you are no longer a child and the reactive alarm bell can sabotage what you created.
The reactive responses to perceived threats are all variations on the theme of fight, flight or freeze (play dead). Today we know that these reactions actually get in our way, stopping us from have a fully loving life. However, this little saboteur does not reason with our adult mind, but responds with a child’s emotions.
When we begin to get the love we have always deeply desired, we don’t know what to do with it or how to respond. We may have little or no actual experiential basis from which we can draw appropriate responses. We don’t have a clue how to “be” when faced with this “love.” Not knowing what to do is frightening. So our little saboteur feels unsafe and rings the alarm bell.
When we get the love we want, it touches on the longing inside of us and we feel the painful sadness of all the times we did not get this love. Feeling this sadness is uncomfortable and getting what …
» Read whole article