David G. Eigen, Ph.D. ™

The Great Wall of China was designed to serve two purposes, keeping the Mongol barbarians out and the people in. It was somewhat successful for the first task, and quite successful on the second.

How does this relate to the human condition? Well, it’s quite the metaphor. To protect ourselves, we create defensive wall to shield our heart from those that would hurt it (the Mongols.) They are not allowed in nor allowed to see or harm our vulnerable parts, or so we think. We actually advertise this part, but more on this at another time. Before I go further we need to understand intimacy. In-to-me-see, this incorporates the required act of faith-based vulnerability. Scary thought aye! This means letting others in, letting down those defensives, justifications and behaviors most develop as means of isolation. Of course, they see it as means of protection, but it’s not. The operative word is isolation and its cousin’s abandonment and loneliness. In order to find true connected love, you must be willing to risk being hurt. Allow me to share a little poem I wrote in the mid-seventies about this called Life:

Like a summer’s flower you’ve come, thought your thorns draw blood I embrace you.

To be honest, I sometimes, run, hide, isolate, make excuses, or use any of the multitude of tricks I have up my sleeves to NOT GET HURT. Oh yes, I do all those things too. However, there are lots of times I risk it all, go “all in,” wear my heart on my sleeve. And I do get hurt; and I don’t like it one bit. It would be easy to fall…