Comments on: Men Who Won’t Marry

By: JSL

JSL — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 22:20:58 +0000

For most men marraige is a slow painful form of castration. My married male friends are mostly miserable and unhappy. I tried it once and hated it . The sweet caring loving woman that I fell in love with , became my jailer after a few years. As far as the Doctors comment about men masturbating and not making love is absurd. Most married guys have to masturbate as much or more that than their single counterparts. Marriage is a legal contract. The purpose of marraige is to solidify a union between a man and women for the purposes of property ,lineage, and child rearing . Intimacy and relationship are establish outside of the marraige contract. Men marry generally for sex women marry for security.

Chris Rock put it best… You are either married and annoyed,or single and lonley those are the only two choices.

I bought a dog.

By: Bruce Tritton

Bruce Tritton — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 23:13:35 +0000

An indication of how slanted this article is can be read from the Author’s ‘about’ section.

“The patriarchy’s most damaging effect is teaching us to reject parts of normal natural selves.”

By: NiceFeller

NiceFeller — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 20:08:12 +0000

I’m 28 years old and moderately successful. I can afford to be married, and my party days are long behind me. I know for a fact that in my large group of guy friends, when it comes to getting married, we have an issue that was not mentioned in this article. We have a hard time finding a woman who has not slept with 20 men.

In a world of feminism where women can do what they want, when they want, as often as they want, and with whoever they want (and that’s great – no problem with that), what we’re left with as men trying to choose lifelong mates are a bunch of women with zero femininity who have been around the block with enough men to form a professional hockey team.

What do these women have good to offer that we can’t get being single? Absolutely nothing.

I probably shouldn’t, but I’m going to go ahead and speak for 99% of my friends:

WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE: If I cheat on her, she takes my kids and half my stuff. If she cheats on me, she takes my kids and half my stuff. If she wakes up bored one day and decides she doesn’t want to be married to me anymore, she takes my kids and half my stuff. If she decides to get fat, cut me off sexually, or be a total witch, I have to put up with it or she’ll take my kids and half my stuff.

The only thing she has to offer besides that is a body that’s been passed out to at least a dozen other men (that’s if she’s a “good girl”) with no demand for commitment.

I’ll be damned if I’m paying for something everyone else got for free and expose myself to potential financial ruin and the loss of my children. I’ve met a lot of wonderful women, and my current girlfriend is a complete sweetheart. But I’ve seen friends who have gone into marriage the same way, and it turned into hell in about three years.

I’m not gender bashing here, but when it comes to marriage, women cannot be trusted with all that power. I assume men couldn’t be either if the roles were reversed. My generation of men is starting to demand a little more balance before we walk down the aisle.

By: Dr. David Eigen

Dr. David Eigen — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 18:36:33 +0000

Iron Nik is correct, both views are rooted in Misanthrope, one who hates or mistrusts humankind. The worst part is that whne you judge and hate the opposite sex, you are actually judging your inner self, that part of you that contain the other sex, as in: inner masculine for women and the inner feminine for men. This is the core essence of the battle of the sexes and what my books are aimed at healing.

By: Iron Nik

Iron Nik — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 08:47:33 +0000

The good men have given up on women. All you are left with are the manipulators. Is a kicked, neglected dog to be blamed for crawling away from the abuser and trying to find peace and contentment in a place of safety? Let the fawning, pleasing “bastard” court you with his face licking and cloying loyalty — but don’t be surprised when he bites. Real men are real people. Until women accept this truth, and understand this truth, you’re not ever going to know the real men. And frankly, we’re not interested in you until you do.

…There are no misogynists, no misandrists, there are only misanthropes.

By: Sharon A.

Sharon A. — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 11:03:36 +0000

The good women have given up on men. All you are left with are the manipulators. Is a kicked, neglected dog to be blamed for crawling away from the abuser and trying to find peace and contentment in a place of safety? Let the fawning, pleasing “bitch” court you with her face licking and cloying loyalty — but don’t be surprised when she bites. Real women are real people. Until men accept this truth, and understand this truth, you’re not ever going to know the real women. And frankly, we’re not interested in you until you do.

By: Dr. David Eigen

Dr. David Eigen — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 11:20:57 +0000

Russ, I hear and feel your pain and frustration. It is not unjustified. The system has swung not to a balanced middle ground, but in favor of women for the most part. As to marriage issues, they all boil down to our beliefs in fairytale relationships. In them we go off into the sunset, never knowing our partners, or ourselves for that matter. We really don’t know what a healthy fulfilling relationship is. But we think we do, or we think love will make it work, magically. That is the problem, because out of our beliefs we set expectations, make judgments, and take things personally.
Your Ex has been captured, manipulated, and imprisoned by her upbringing. How sad; and how sad are the effects you and your daughter must endure from them. Allow yourself to grieve, learn about people, not out of anger and blame, but out of truth. Look at what you brought to the table that was part of the dance, too. Pick up my book ASAP. You will find extremely useful things within. Blessings on your healing.

By: Russ

Russ — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 04:03:49 +0000

You all bring up some very good points which have made me contemplate the issue further. I was married 25 years… then one day my wife walked away from the marriage. There was no lying, infidelity, alcohol abuse… only a father-in-law who had money and wanted complete control over all designated beneficiaries in his will – which included my ex. Ahh, those were the days… one day you were in his will, the next day out… depending on how he felt about you. In the end, my wife made a choice and her choice to go with her father and his money cost me my marriage many of my assets and custody of my daughter… among other things. What I came to realize is that I’m not special and believing that “just because it happened to someone else doesn’t mean it will happen to me” was naive on my part. Living in a no-fault state the legal system taught me marriage is a financial decision more than anything else and as a man, I never felt more at a disadvantage than when I was in court – yes… she played the role of the victim all too well. Women today are more liberated/feminized than in the past and have the power to unilaterally end a marriage and take a bigger portion of the assets, children and money than they deserve. Why would any man give a woman the power to wreck his life for a period of years? Through no-fault divorce she can file for divorce anytime she likes for any reason she likes and end up with the house, kids, part of the man’s pension, alimony, child support – no wonder divorce rates are climbing. It may appear I’m an angry blogger… that might be partly true, but the larger truth is twice as many as women file for divorce as men… and… why; because they “feel neglected.” Once my wife and I started a family I felt neglected a lot when my wife was attending to the kids’ needs… I suppose I should have taken the initiative like many women do today, said “You’re not meeting my emotional needs honey” and filed for divorce. It’s true… men can be more attentive to a woman’s needs… trouble is if you’re not meeting them you may never know it until it’s too late — game over. Our societly is spoiled (women in particular) and believe they deserve “happily ever after”… all the time; of course this is not realistic. One thing is certain, men are catching on to the pitfalls of a modern day marriage (notice I said modern day marriage). Things have changed with the feminization movement… the price society and women will pay? More men talking and less and less men entering into marriage which will statistically end in divorce. It might be best to change traditional vows “I, (Sarah/James), take you (Sarah/James), to be my (wife/husband), to have and behold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.” TO “I, (Sarah/James), take you (Sarah/James), to be my (wife/husband), to have and behold until I feel neglected, for better only and never for worse, for richer, not poorer, never in sickness and only in health, to love and to cherish; until I decide to divorce you in a no-fault state.” Times have changed along with divorce rates… isn’t it time for our wedding vows to reflect some of those changes?

By: Dr. David Eigen

Dr. David Eigen — Mon, 18 May 2009 15:00:36 +0000

Thank you for writing Lisa, I feel your pain, reluctance, and resentment both at men and the institution of marriage as it has become. Be careful though, the dance we are all in “takes two to tango.” This means both genders have their own challenges and issues. The hard part is seeing our own shadows, or dark sides because they are hard to see, like shadows. But they are there, like it or not. Yes, men are challenged and when it comes to emotions, handicapped unquestionably. Without their inner feminine feeling side they can hardly be The Gods of Love, only mentally driven beings unable to connect with women other than sexually. I highly suggest you buy my book to better understand the masculine, both the inner and outer. I guarantee it will change your outlook and understanding of men. The other side of the same coin, women, are emotionally driven, but without their masculine thinking side this becomes chaotic, and difficult to trust, because it changes at the drop of a hat. I will address all this in my nearly complete second book, Women-The Gods of Wisdom.
So you see both genders have been taught how NOT to be whole, not have connected loving relationships, nor to understand each other, or communicate, or dare I say it, love. Changing this is the purpose of my books, lectures, and life. Women’s resentment of men, that you may relate too, can be seen in the book review I received. Look at the main menu under reviews and read to where she says “apologize to the author.” It is glaring, and she struggled just to open the book. Then she liked it. Perhaps a better tittle would have been the Male Masquerade. At least women would not have resented it. This book won a silver medal, accolades from the readers who read it, yet isn’t selling. Women turn their noses up to thinking anything positive about men, yet love the title of the second book. This is an expression of women’s shadow. Men have laughed at the title of the second book coming from the same resentful shadow place. Go to the second book’s website (left hand column on this site’s main page) and read the excerpt from it entitled The Barter System. This will make all this clearer.
Here is the key, all of women’s resentment of men becomes internalized; that is, focused unknowingly at their inner masculine. Women judge it and reject it. This prevents women from reaching wisdom and wholeness. Men do exactly the same thing internalizing their resentments of women, whose chaotic flip-flop emotionality appears crazy to them because they don’t understand it as simply a rejection of masculine reason, because that appears heartless to women. Men therefore reject their own inner feminine nature, and there goes the possibility of being Gods of Love.
Women are emotionally chaotic because they have been denied and rejected their inner masculine. Men cab be heartless and compassionless, yet fall apart when faced dead-on with emotions, because they have been denied and rejected their inner feminine.
This is the state of the world and I intend to change this. I hope you will join me in this service to all. Pass on my info, tell others to buy the book. Just remember, your rejection of marriage to men, though understandable, is a rejection of self. Make inner peace and you will find outer peace, and love. Blessings.

By: Lisa Lee

Lisa Lee — Mon, 18 May 2009 07:08:17 +0000

It’s late and I came across the above conversation. I just turned 31 recently and what I have realized is my further distaste to marry. This is a thought that I once felt hesitant to openly verbalize to family and friends because it is something I should want (apparently).

Now many have taken feminists to levels that have embedded a misguided view of the concept. The reason women support this is because it means that women DO NOT want to be limited in ANY endeavors solely on their gender. Whilst it may be true men are naturally physically stronger men appear to overstep boundaries of respect.

Once women have begun to circle their lives around men and realize how they have settled- they will make drastic changes. Women settle. Men fluctuate.

To quote Jamie Foxx, “Women bend. Men break. That’s how I know women are superior creatures.”

Men give up, do not want an absolute great woman, they settle for those who will except their long term of laziness.

However, it surprises yet disappoints me when I read, listen, or converse with men who are aware of the shortcomings of men and women- yet do nothing to change the cycle.

Women at this point have no choice but to be more masculine because we have exhausted our feminine wiles on men who say they are worthy but fall very short.

If you want a woman who is understanding, cooks, nurturing, fun, attentive, supportive, etc…. why be reluctant to offer her the same? If you believe a woman should uphold herself in a certain manner why should a man not? Is it not the man who is to provide, love, stay faithful, protect, and nurture as well?

I am not making excuses for women, by all means, some women are crazy, yet it is unfair to not expect one gender of being able to do everything, especially if it lacks on the other side.