David G. Eigen, Ph.D. ™

Society is in the process of redefining the man as something more “sanitized, hairless, and shallow,” a domesticated work beast that has been neutered and dehorned. This is the feminized male, the so called “metrosexual.” Their “Mojo” has been distilled and bottled, controllable, and in pill form—only allowable to men when performing their “appropriate” servicing duties. Standing-at-attention, they reconfirm their masculinity—“see, I am a man.”

There is a lot more to a man than just standing-at-attention. But, of course, that is denied them for the most part. Deep inside men are starving, lonely, and unfulfilled no matter how much they have accumulated. They use distraction after distraction as a way of not having to connect with these inner feelings, which has the effect of further denying them the very things they desire, connection and fulfillment. Eventually, men run out of steam, the distractions are seen as useless illusions and seeing no other option they give up, depressed. They live out the remainder of their lives as lonely, shut-down old men.

Unfortunately, the connection to self, which is denied men by being labeled as “wrong,” creates shame. Why? Because all men have feelings no matter how deep they have repressed them. Have feelings that are “wrong” makes men feel they are wrong—the definition of shame. Yet, women say they want a feeling man, at least when it fits their needs.

Since men are shamed having feelings, this creates the fear of abandonment. “If others see I have feelings, they will not want me, and I will be abandoned.” Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. “Why try, what’s the use?”

Men-The Gods of Love resolves this dilemma for men and helps women understand men in a new light, and perhaps see how they unwittingly are participants.

That was the headline on 8/8/07 in the Sun-Sentinel, the Ft. Lauderdale, Florida Newspaper. This article refers to a ruling by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia. The opinion of the majority voiced by Judge Thomas B. Griffith is a s follows: “Terminally ill patient desperately need curative treatment, their [imminent] deaths can certainly be hastened by the use of a potentially toxic drug with no proven benefit.” HELLO – which part of terminally ill did they not understand? Voicing dissent for the minority was Judge Judith W. Rodgers, who said “the right to save ones own life is left out in the cold despite its textual anchor in the right to life.”

How is this possible??? Simple – lawyers/judges often are disconnected from their hearts, spending countless hours pondering mental legal questions. Their feelings and humanness are somehow forgotten. How can we as humans who have so many rights including the right to “control ones body even if it results in one’s own death…,” not have the right to experimental drugs that may give us a chance to survive a terminal illness?

This is clearly short-sighted, myopic thinking, which leaves out reason and wisdom. A computer if given existing laws would spit out the same response. This is not reasoning, on regurgitating. Garbage in, garbage out. Why do we need judges if we only wanted regurgitation? Because we are dealing with humans, requiring reasoning, and the law has lost sight of this. In fact the law is not designed or able to understand this at all.

We need a change and there are a lot of Judges that need to retire. But then what would they do? They most likely have no idea how to behave as a human being, only human machines. It is time for all to wake up.

Victims come in all sizes and shapes, for example: dogs, the public’s trust, and even manhood. Yes, manhood. Why? Because major sports figures are regards as heroes and role models to many, especially our youth. That dog fighting is illegal, immoral, and just plain repulsive is clear, but it is more than that. This speaks to the “dog eat dog” (pun intended) mentality that has become so fashionable, as ghetto thinking penetrates our consciousness and is seen as a normative behavioral models. Just as women are referred to as bitches, clearly disrespecting the feminine and the masculine itself, for the masculine to promote dog-fighting degrades masculinity. The masculine is heroic, not barbaric, loving and courageous, not gluttonous and cowardly. Vick has no clue how to be a man, just a macho, unfeeling brute. The shame of it is many look up to him and may try and emulate the act itself, or at least be a macho, unfeeling animal.

Yes, we have within us the animal. We can be the Gods of the Barbaric. This must not be propagated as the only or correct model. We are the Gods of Love and as such we must balance our base animal selves with our divine. That’s what makes us human, this ability to contain both and be something greater than another disconnected animal. Michael Vick, shame on you. You rate a “0” on the masculinity scale.

I recognize how difficult it is for you my Goddess of Wisdom to be wise. How the child’s voices of fear and pain ricochet off the walls in every direction, distracting and creating confusion and turmoil. I see how hard it is to stand and be wise in this environment. It is easier to run or pretend, head in the sand, then it is to stand tall and strong.

Added to this the Gods of Love, men have turned off their hearts, their emotions and do the unthinkable. They do this out of the fear of being hurt. Your confusing reactions, the childish beliefs you retain and respond to, the childish demands or the walking away without turning back, creates emotional turmoil for them, this feeds their fears and distrust.

Have courage my dear; draw it up, make friends with it and use it. This is your positive male energy. Then men will trust your wisdom and respect it. Then they can love you as the Gods of Love, as it will now be safe.

Voices speak at you from every direction

Advising new strategies

Twisted plots and plans

Defending against the imagined or real?

They lead you down the same empty road

To the safety of nowhere

A shallow birdbath

Better than somewhere

An ocean of emotion

Here you can be hurt

Enough of that you say

Safety and security is what matters

So what if it is a shallow pond

A pretty illusion of love

A passing fancy

Where is the wisdom in that?

No time for that you say,

you’ve just chipped a nail?

For my Daughters

The message men have ingested about manhood is so confused, twisted and even manipulated, that men are not really sure themselves what it is to be a “man.”

Women are just as confused about men. Women can’t decide if men are their knights in shining armor, their rescuers/saviors, or are heartless unfeeling brutes that absolutely can’t be trusted.

The question of what makes a man originated from the first evolutionary mechanism, called polarity. This is the polarization of humans into seemingly diametrically opposed opposites, men and women. It is the tension between these opposites that drives evolution.

This tension creates opposition and often this creates conflict. From male/female, yin/yang, phallus/vagina, giver/receiver, I think it reasonable that all would agree that these opposites have from the beginning of time created the “Tension of the Opposites.” How are opposition and the tension created by it and used for the purpose of evolution, which includes growth and expanded awareness? In order to coexist with ones opposite, all must find the compassion and empathy within to accept these mirror images of ones self. Empathy and compassion are comprised of the passionate experience of the suffering, the root of both words, of one’s opposite. The act of learning to know one’s opposite is based upon the ability to expand oneself to include one’s opposite. This is not necessarily easy. To master this, one must face challenges and survive suffering. Once you have done this, the tension will be lessened, as you will be one with the other, while maintaining your individuality.

On this principle these words were spoken: “love thine enemies.” Are not our enemies, our opposites? Have not women seen men, and men seen women at time as enemies. There is even a movie entitled Sleeping with the Enemy, referring to the main female character’s husband as the enemy. A fifty percent divorce rate in America would indicate that there is some truth to this idea. Paraphrased, it could be: love thine opposites. This is no small accomplishment, but than evolution is no small movement.

Loving the opposites means being able to stand in their shoe and understand their point of view without judgment. This is love in action and when applied, leads to evolution of the soul. It does not mean that the actions of ones enemy need be loved, only their underlying humanness understood. The action may be abhorrent and need not be accepted. But the humanness must be understood, for in this mirror all will see a part of themselves and all will learn if they choose to exercise their inner courage to look.

Who are you? This question is different than asking what you do, but most believe what they do is who they are. They have identified with their actions. Whether you are comfortable or not with your “doings” makes no difference as to who you are. If we take away what you do, what are you left with?

These are difficult question to ask ourselves, no less answer, but ask and answer we must!

If you think you are left with nothing, or some other less then real description, think again.

So…who are you without your “doings”? Don’t know, not sure? OK, that’s a good start, though certainly not a comfortable one. This is the dialog, or discussion, I am committed to encouraging, “a question unasked” about our system of beliefs about ourselves. We all have a Belief System (BS) that I call our inner programing. It is comparable to the “invisible” software that enables you to view this Blog. Are you happy, satisfied with life, fulfilled? Most are not because our BS actually prevents these outcomes. Want to fix it? Me too. The first step in problem resolution is identifying the problem. The problem is not our mates, jobs, government, etc.. It is our BS.

What I am asking of you is to think about the nature of being, as in your being, and share your thought and beliefs, your paradigm and let’s see what we can create.

A QUESTION UNASKED: “What good are the fruits of our labors, our victories, accomplishments or possessions, when our experience of love and relationships are fruitless?” Further, what makes a “real” man, and how does he create a life worth living? Considering today’s changing attitudes towards manhood, does anyone know? Did anyone really ever, or have men just acted as they were taught?