David G. Eigen, Ph.D. ™

Now, I am sure you are thinking, what “Divine” notion am I writing of? It is the notion of freedom. We have seen a convenient version of this notion played out in our stock and mortgage markets. Not working too well is it. So what is wrong with the notion of freedom? “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to loose,” so wrote Kris Kristofferson. So how come we have lost so much?

We have mistaken blind egocentric gluttony for freedom. We have been told that a free market will seek equilibrium, just like nature. OK, so much for that illusion. Freedom is a form of love. You can’t love from an egocentric position; you must take into consideration the other party. Not so in our “free” market system. Unbridled capitalism is single-sided gluttony, plain and simple. The bottom line is all that matters. It takes responsibility for nothing and no one. Even the executives attempt to take everything they can from their company and its shareholders. They give themselves going away gifts, called golden parachutes, while everyone else gets golden showers. And this is somehow legal and the role model for corporate executives! Without regulation we will all be working for the company store, in abject poverty. A few fat cats will trickle down pennies to the starving. That’s why there were laws against monopolies. These laws under the guise of “less government” have had their teeth extracted. Lady Justice without teeth gumming the law.

Washington Mutual (WaMu) is a bank that is teetering at the moment. They were successful at offering mortgages with a 1¼ percent “initial” rate (teaser). The actual rate was whatever the going rate was, somewhere in the four to more than five percent range. You can qualify for a much bigger mortgage at the teaser rate then you can at the actual rate, which by the way was adjustable. All you needed to qualify for a refinance was an appraisal and a pulse. As an added bonus, you could choose to pay all your payments at the teaser rate. Of course, that didn’t cover you mortgage payment, so the balance was added to what you owed. This is called negative amortization, though they did not disclose it as such. If you borrowed ninety five percent, you could quickly owe more then the house was worth. This is especially true if the rate adjusts higher, which it did. Now, add to this the fact that houses have dropped substantially in value and you would have a disaster. That’s what we have. And they are wondering why this happened. Blind greed is why.

Why was this allowed, why did WaMu executives even think this was OK? People who can’t qualify, can’t qualify, just as a pig with lipstick is still a pig. Can you imagine a young person who wants to be a pilot being given an F-18 to train in? Of course not, because it is more plane then they can handle. Similarly, if you can only qualify for an illusionary rate of 1¼ percent interest on a home’s value when the non-illusionary rate is 4 times higher, then you have more house then you can handle, dah! Did WaMu executives get huge compensation for what seemed like “successful” loan campaigns, you bet they did. Did they donate to their local organizations (politicians) that oversee, or turned a blind eye to their actions using bank money, yes! Did they lose any of their funds or bonuses for this, no! Did most of us turn a blind eye to this, yes! WaMu is just an example of a free market, without oversight. In an ideal world the oversight would come from within each person. As it stands, we don’t need to consider this possibility at present, do we?

OK, so now what do we do? It is time to recreate our notions of what are correct behaviors. Human reality, it is now clear, will not adjust to our ideal notions. Our thinking it will and did is our arrogance. Can you hear the whistle of the approaching freight train? It is the Humility Express. It is going to take the world for a ride. Clearly, it won’t be pleasurable.

We need to be honest, educate all, tax highly these overpaid executives and other gluttons who reap huge profits at the expense of other. And forfeiture, penalties and jail time is proper for those that created this, manipulated for and profited by our present situations, and there are many. We are all responsible and we must all make it right. The actual dynamics of how we do this will have to be reasoned out.  No question we need the teeth put back in our laws and judicial system that have been removed. But definitely no more lies, no more smoke and mirror illusions. Greed and gluttony must be seen not as admirable, but reprehensible. Who we are being as human being must be a top priority and not seen as irrelevant as long as we’re winning. We need to look clearly at what we have chosen to believe as truth that was self-serving, and the truth will set us free.

This article is based on a radio interview I did on E! Entertainment Radio with hosts Michael Yo and Hyla, June 6th. We had a great (but short) interview on the topic of the Sex and the City (SATC) show/movie. Their position was that the SATC behavior models presented women having the freedom, sexual freedom to act like men. If men act like sluts (womanizers or players), women be able to also they proffered. The interviewers then asked unexpectedly what my marital status was; I said divorced. They then  asked, well don’t I casually pleasure myself with women? No, I don’t anymore, I have learned. I so told them that my experiences of having sex, only to ask myself afterwards, “what the hell was I doing with this person,” raised the red flag for me. Further, I felt worse, not better having had this indiscriminant sex. The hosts said they had experienced the same thing. Why is this so? I know questioning the “joys” of sex is not what men are taught. Real men always enjoy sex, don’t they? My point was that at least some of the characters in SATC are teaching women this same masculine behavior. This I content is a formula for disaster.

The interview, which went longer then scheduled, ended shortly thereafter due to time constrains without my explaining a critical point. I did say that I supported men’s growth enabling them to create true connection, and I don’t support men’s present training, my old training, to be disconnected users of female bodies. To then suggest that women behave like men as they presently are trained is nothing short of disastrous.

Now, to the key question that went unsaid. In both the hosts and my experience of unsatisfying “casual” sex mentioned above, why it was unsatisfying was not addressed. The natural answer is because we were with the wrong partner. For whatever reason, other then a connection of sexual organs, there was no connection. OK, so here is the real question, who was being the wrong partner, the ones we were with, or us?

If you find yourself singing, “I can’t get no, no satisfaction,” it is all about you not being the person that creates it, not them. When you choose to masturbate using another’s body, which is what passes for sex nowadays, you dishonor and are out of alignment with your own heart. This is how the unfulfilled emptiness is created.

The “real” purpose of sex is to connect two souls, creating a connection of intimacy and love, not to just get your “rocks off.” The later dishonors you and the other person, and deep inside you always know it. I did, and as I awakened, I realized this was not what I wanted, it was not filling the inner emptiness, nor did it serve me, or my partners. So I basically stopped doing this. I am not saying this is easy. It takes courage to stand up to the truth, our truth, but stand you must, to be a real man, a god of love, not a macho god of the holy sausage.

Men have been taught to use sex as a means of fulfillment. With a modicum of maturity, one quickly finds out something is wrong with this thinking simply by noticing a lack of fulfillment. Either we blame it on: the woman, the position, the moment, location, your mother complexes, or worst of all, yourself as being inadequate. NONE OF THE ABOVE IS CORRECT! It is the patriarchal teaching that makes intimacy and connection a juicy hotdog in a bun proposition. This is not to say sex is wrong, on the contrary, connected intimate sex is wonderful, fulfilling, and sacred. But beware, without the intimate connection it is just masturbating. If you and your partner want this, so be it. However, my experience of humanity and myself tells me that we are all really seeking inner fulfillment, but we just don’t know how to find it, so we settle on what we have been taught, sex. After all, Hollywood, SATC, and seemingly every aspect of our “modern” society have become obsessed with it, and it is difficult to see clearly through all the muck.

Here is how you start the process: First, recognize the problem, second stop what doesn’t work, and third look for what “feels good”, but in your heart, not your organs. As we have a society devoid of spiritual awareness, which teaches base sexuality, this will require you to step outside of your box, the limitations of your present beliefs, and this takes effort and courage. You can do it, you must do it, and your soul depends on it.

Discuss this openly, men especially with your male friends, you will find an important fact – you are not alone at all. You are not crazy, defective, or lacking. We have simply all been taught how to behave in ways that are counter to our own fulfillment. That’s where the craziness lies, in what we have been taught, our patriarchal programming.

So let’s all declare that we are done with that thinking and find ways that truly fulfill our partners and us. Imagine a world where this is prevalent. Imagine.